We all have the power to be who we want to be. That's what everybody tells us. They just leave out the parts about the limits to that statement. They leave out the fact that there are trillions of beings out there in the world who will try to stop you from doing what you want. Most of us avoid those things because what we want to be is "within reason." And it should stay that way, right? (Because who wants people running around saying they want to be terrorists?) Well, it really depends on who is setting the limits. The type of thing I'm talking about is the idea of, "Well, how do we know it's a perfect circle? That's just what 'they' call it." So who is setting this imaginary circle of "within reason," and what is considered in (or out of) the circle? Alright, this is getting deep now. Let's take a step back. Now, this is something that I don't normally talk about. I recently had three people I knew in my life pass away. They are all very different scenarios, so I will try to explain them each as best as I can. The first, and most distant was a couple months ago when my grandma died. It was peaceful and quiet. A few months after that, my dog, Merrick, died. His was what you could call noisy. It wasn't pleasant for any of us around him as you might expect. He was having some problems that suggested he be taken to the vet. Now, he was very old for his size and we figured he wouldn't have much longer, he may not even survive this. We decided to put him down. Two days ago, a summer friend of mine killed himself. I still know very little about it other than he had some problems with cutting beforehand. So, what does this all mean? Why am I bringing this up? Well, first of all, it's not good to keep these things to yourself. You should always talk to people about hard times in your life. One way to do that, which I prefer not to do, is share it publicly among many people to whom you most likely have no true personal connection. This is what many writers do. Even normal people who just like to instagram or whatnot. So, you might be saying "Well, you're a writer, just write some poetry about this stuff or something." The title of this blog page is "Opinions of the MODERN Author." 'Modern' is specified because modern means to move on to new things. Posting poetry about deceased people isn't exactly new or original. I want to keep this page genuine to my beliefs. So now let's talk about what sharing my sad experiences has to do with the theme of this post. Well, we have the power to be who we want to be. We can be the person who dwells on death, or we can be the person who moves on. We can cry and be pessimistic or we can be optimistic and think of the better place your loved one is in now. And it may sound weird to call a friend a loved one, but love should be shared through anyone, not just family. Let's go back to where we were before now. Who sets the standard for being who we are. Well, the answer is not only society, but also yourself. You say you want to be Buddhist. Society can tell you that you are "outside the circle" but ultimately, you get to decide if you want to be outside society's circle, or inside your own, much larger one. Our world gives us the freedom to choose many things. Some things come without us asking, but in turn, it all leads back to you and your way of handling decisions. I know that this is extremely long so if you made it all this way thank you very much for taking some time to spend with me and my buzzing thoughts.
-Tyler Ruof
